Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
just tell him i said nine months
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
