p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
