Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Sober January is a disaster.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
