Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
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Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
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