i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
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