The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
Randomize
