I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
