The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
Im part way to drunk.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
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