Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
