my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
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