Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize
