this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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