Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
