I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
Randomize