K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
