its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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