Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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