Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
Randomize
