I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Randomize
