The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
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