I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
Randomize
