girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
