I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
