we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
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