I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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