I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
