We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Randomize
