i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
Randomize
