In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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