I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
Randomize
