It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
