Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
