In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
