I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
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