6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
