Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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