She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
