SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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