i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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