We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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