If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
