Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
We are two peas in an std pod
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
