Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
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