I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Randomize