Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
I'm way too hungover for life right now
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
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