Duck Duck Cougar?
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
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