i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
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