I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
