in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
false alarm. still invincible.
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
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