super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Randomize
