Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Randomize
