Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
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My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
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Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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