Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Randomize
