I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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