i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
Randomize
