More tranny stories later!
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize
